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Wow the photo of the dove was on your side. First of all, this speaks from outside and in.... I gleaned a vision of a person who is dark, who may also look ominous. The fact that the speaker asks for the wings to be clipped shows the personal loathing we can feel when we realize our nature is not what it should be. You have even given a hint to the environment of darkness. The use of free verse is an even better display of deviance. Metamorphosis, corruption, transformation, are all words which invoke the same horror of those around us when they see what we have become. (Your formatting reads like we are listening to the struggle of man vs. self) Your vocabulary for this piece is excellent, and I have to wonder where your inspiration comes from...Keep your dark secret deep poet!
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1 out of 1 deviants thought this was fair.


SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I need to thank you for this wonderfully done critique. It brought a smile to my face when I first read it.
All that you have said, would in fact be right from my mouth. So it makes me happy that you were able to connect and gather all of that.

The inspiration for this is quite old now. Since it's a revised poem, there have been a lot of transformations and amplifications to certain aspects of the piece.
There is a story behind it. I just don't know if you would like to know the details.
MzVPain Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Professional Writer
Please share, I love connecting wth artists!
SurvivingNights Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
A while back, I believe I was 16 years old. It was around this time when I lost connections with most or all of my friends. And I was kind of isolating myself after that. The isolation period lasted a while. I grew up with some of those friends, ya know? We were childhood friends. I didn't see them for a long time after that. Even then, it was never the same with us. It's like we had our own little circle of friends. And I feel like I was sort of left behind from that circle.

Yeah....that's where that inspiration comes from for this piece. It's old, but it's still there.

I missed them for a long time. I would have dreams about all of us hanging out like we used to. But those dreams faded over the years.

I seen one of them when I went out with a friend to dinner, and he tried making small talk with me. It felt weird, it felt unnatural, and all that kept running through my mind was "He doesn't know me anymore, and I don't know him anymore, why is he even bothering at all?" I was uncomfortable, to a point where I motioned to my friend that we should get going. He was acting like nothing ever happened, he was acting like we were back in the past, but we weren't.

I hope I didn't go overboard o.o
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